Are you an Online Knucklehead?

[Ron Curry]

Rather than keep harping on being civil here on ROG, it occurred to me that perhaps some actually don't realize when they are being inciteful and obnoxious so I thought it might be useful to reprint this useful article from www.onlinenetiquette.com. I hope some of you find it informative. I will post each section in a seperate post for clarity

Best regards,

Ron

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Are You an Online Knucklehead?

Common Courtesy, Social Graces, Socially Acceptable Behavior. These are all terms used in a civilized society where humans interact with one another. Cyberspace is not any different. How you will be perceived, the type of human being that you are or for that matter are not, your credibility, your levels of professionalism and ethics will be judged by how you communicate with others online.
To minimize the importance of established Netiquette Guidelines is to make a conscious decision to be thought of as rude, lazy, arrogant or uneducated. If you are online for commercial gain, lack of proper Netiquette may very well deter those who otherwise may have considered doing business with you.

Now, stop and read the above paragraph again. This is not a joke, this is not one person's opinion. This site is not in existence to call you names or make you feel bad. Quite the contrary. These are the issues you need to know about, skills you need to hone, to be considered someone people want to communicate with, because after all, this is about . . .

Just 10 Little Common Courtesies . . . (continued in the next post)

[Ron Curry]

Here are the online basics you need to minimally become familiar with in order to be taken seriously in your online communications.

Do not type in all caps. This is considered yelling or screaming online. Those who type in caps are perceived as lazy and not being considerate of those they communicate with who will have to read their email. Study after study reflects that typing in all caps is difficult to read. And for those who question "What studies?" here is one example for your reading pleasure:

http://www.psych.utoronto.ca/~muter/pmuter1.htm
Searching for words is faster with uppercase characters, but reading of continuous text is slower (Vartabedian, 1971), perhaps because interline masking is greater with uppercase (Nes, 1986). In addition, lowercase enhances reading efficiency because word shape is helpful in word recognition (Rudnicky & Kolers, 1984).

One is free to review the entire document above at their convenience that goes into extreme details about how eyes react to what they have to read.


Stating certain professions are required to type in all caps (That's the first time I've heard that one!) doesn't jive either. Would you send any off line communications in all caps - the answer is no.

Refrain from formatting your email with colored text and background colors/images in your day to day communications. If I had $1 for every Netizen who emailed me griping about how they cannot read emails that are formatted apparently by those who have no color sense or command of HTML, I could retire. Your color and formatting choices can make your emails impossible to read and reply to without having to go through a procedure to convert them to plain text. And many times when folks go to reply they have to deal with your formatting carrying over to their reply - what a PIA! Why would you expect folks to have to go through that just to read and respond to your email? The answer: They won't! Using large background graphics that take forever to download, especially if you have a phone connection (which is more common than most think once you get outside of metro areas) is plain old inconsiderate. If you do feel the uncontrollable need to use any type of formatting in your daily communications, do so sparingly. Please, on behalf of all those who email me, just send your email in plain text!


On those rare occasions where sending a group of people the very same email is necessary, as a courtesy to those you are sending to, please list all of the recipients email addresses in the BCC field. (Blind Carbon Copy - from the old days when typewriters used carbon paper to create identical copies of a document when it was being typed.) When an email address is designated in the Blind Carbon Copy field, the recipient will get a copy of the email while their email address remains invisible to the other recipients of the email - some of whom they may or may not know. If you are not sure how to BCC in your email program, here are site resources that may help you learn the features of your software programs:

EUDORA NETSCAPE OUTLOOK EXPRESS

Long lists of email addresses at the beginning of any email is an immediate sign that the sender is either a novice/Newbie - or doesn't care to respect other's privacy. None of which are complimentary perceptions! Email addresses are like phone numbers. Only the owner of the email address or phone number is the one to authorize whom they want to have it and make it public. Many folks prefer to decide themselves who has their email address. By sending mass mails to a list of folks, you have made that decision for them - and that is bad, very bad. Let those you correspond with determine for themselves who they will make their email address known to - do not make that decision for them! By listing handfuls of email addresses in the email headers for all to see is inconsiderate of each recipient's right to privacy.

If you are new online, raise your right hand and repeat after me:

"I will not forward any dumb joke, "chain letter" or unimportant emails to my friends without their permission."
"I will not forward any dumb joke, "chain letter" or unimportant emails to my friends without their permission."
"I understand that by doing so I may fill up their in box, use others resources unnecessarily and may cause other important email to bounce."
"I understand that by doing so I may fill up their in box, use others resources unnecessarily and may cause other important email to bounce."
"I understand that most folks have seen those emails a million times and find them very annoying."
"I understand that most folks have seen those emails a million times and find them very annoying."
"I know that by forwarding these so-called humorous emails I may offend or tick off people who do not share my sense of humor or who are sick of having those stupid emails forwarded to them each time a Newbie hops online."
"I know that by forwarding these so-called humorous emails I may offend or tick off people who do not share my sense of humor or who are sick of having those stupid emails forwarded to them each time a Newbie hops online."

There! Now, that wasn't too bad was it? ;-) You will no longer be tempted to forward those jokes or frivolous email that instruct you to forward to your friends! And, you will avoid looking silly and uninformed in the process. Read them if you must then hit delete. You don't believe those email that state certain things will happen simply by you forwarding the email to 10 friends do you? Talk about a waste of resources!! If you don't know for a FACT that the email you are forwarding is specifically apropos to the person you are forwarding to and you know they will want to receive it - ask first. One of the common requests I receive through this site is from folks wanting to know a "nice way" of telling someone they care about to stop sending joke and chain emails without hurting their feelings. Speaking for those who know you, we have seen those emails before, many times - cut us a break!

Never give out phone numbers or personal information without confirming you are communicating with a reputable party. Never give out personal contact information of others without their specific permission to do so.

Make a reasonable effort to search a Web site for the information you are looking for - "Frequently Asked Questions" or "About Us" sections may give you the answers you seek before you waste the site owner's time by emailing for information that is readily available on their site. I get emailed daily for answers that are easily found in my 10 Courtesies or in the Internet 101 section if someone were to make minimal effort. They simply don't want to take the time to read them so these folks expect me to take the time to repeat what is on my site. I even have a Google Search toolbar right there - they still don't use it! Talk about giving the perception of lazy and not respecting other's time! If a Web site owner takes the time to provide information, read it. No one person's time is more important than another's and common courtesy includes respecting this fact. If you do not find what you are looking for, search for the appropriate contact area for your question. Do not just click on the first email link you come across and blurt out your question(s). Do not be surprised if your email goes unanswered when the information is easily found on their site. It is important to understand the focus of each Web site as well. Each site cannot be everything to everyone or be what you perceive it should be. Be sure to review the information provided to double check that what you seek would even be covered by the site you are at.

Do not use Return Receipt Request (RR) for each and every personal email you send because you like "knowing" when someone opens the email you sent to them. Not only is this a pain for the recipient, this feature is annoying and intrusive! How would you like it if every time you heard a voice mail, answering machine message, opened a postal letter from a friend it was immediately reported back to them that you had heard/opened their communications? The recipient should have the privacy to determine when/if they want to reply - period. RRs should be reserved for those instances where it is critical to knowing the email was opened. Such instances would include legal and important business issues. Keep in mind opened doesn't mean read!

Understand that you will be on a continual learning curve. All of us are. This gig is changing constantly - the only consistency is change! If you do not have the desire to learn, and do not make the effort to understand the "culture" of the technology in which you are participating, you will not be taken seriously by fellow Netizens. You also may get some curt emails from other Netizens pointing such issues out to you - some may not be as nice as others. Do not fire back at them! Use situations like that as an opportunity to learn what you are doing wrong so you do not tick-off others.

If you receive a nasty email - do not respond immediately - if at all. People are very bold and overly critical on the other side of this screen. In my experience they tend to not hesitate to point out things they think you need improvement on while not even noticing the good or positive points on the very same issue. Many times these folks are simply trying to get a rise out of you (this is called trolling) all to make themselves feel self-important. Many times they are just plain jerks. If you do not have something nice to say, or at the very least sternly professional - just hit delete.

Keep in mind that all private email is considered to be copyrighted by the original author. If you post private email to a public list or board, or forward it to an outside party in whole or in part, you must include the author's permission to post the material publicly. Not doing so can get you into some deep doo-doo legally or with your friends and associates. Think of it this way... how would you feel if a personal private email that you had written for a specific purpose/person is then plastered across the Internet or forwarded to folks you do not know? Ask permission before forwarding/posting any private emails!

Always minimize, compress or "zip" large files before sending. Many folks new to the online world do not realize how large documents, graphics or photo files are. Guess what? They are large enough to fill someone's email box and cause their other mail to bounce! Get in the habit of compressing anything over 100,000 bytes. (You can view file sizes in Windows Explorer. Simply right click on the file name and choose properties.) Check out "JustZIPit" http://free-backup-software.net for these purposes. Do not send unannounced large attachments to others because you think that photo or file is cute or cool or neat. Even when sending business files, always compress and ask permission first!
Many onliners still have to wait up to 30 minutes or more to open overly large files due to their connection speed. Most folks not far outside of metro areas do not have cable or DSL connections, they are on dial-ups - many only @ 28.8K! My home smack dab in the middle of Chicago and Milwaukee only has dial-ups available and 28.8K is considered a bonus over the usual 26.4K due to the older rural infrastructure. If you do not want to compress the files or learn how to make them smaller with graphic software to minimize them to no larger than 600 pixels in width - nothing need be larger than that size to view. Or you could be really courteous and learn how to use the free Web space offered by your ISP to upload photos and simply send the link to friends and family to view. If you do not know how to do this - learn! [Great Resource: HTML Writers Guild and HTML Programming Cheat Sheets]

To send large files that take a long time to download that may not respect the other person's time, reflect their sense of humor, point of view or may even max out their email box is pretty inconsiderate and lazy.


Do not forward virus warnings! Forwarding of virus warnings from friends are generally always hoaxes [Great Resource: Symantec's Virus Hoax Page] - especially if they tell you to forward to everyone you know. Delete those emails and do not forward them! Definitely ignore those forwarded emails instructing you to delete files on your computer - they could be critical files that your computer needs to operate. Only warn friends if you KNOW you have a virus that you have inadvertently passed on to them. Rely only on your virus software and your software provider's Web site for the real scoop. If you get one of these wacky emails from a friend or associate, go to your virus software provider's site and read what they have to say before you unnecessarily alarm folks, delete files off your hard drive and in the process end up looking rather silly to say the least. There are many urban legends purely in existence to watch all the Newbies screw up their computer's config files or forward to everyone they know and end up looking rather foolish in the process. There's a Newbie born every minute! ;-)
With the advancement of technology, it is now possible to get a virus without even opening an email. That ended with W32.Nimda.A@mm in September/2001 that merely required you click on the subject of the email in your email program or for those that use Outlook Express have your program set to preview. HINT: Turn Previewing Off! Nimda also propagated itself by taking advantage of bugs in Microsoft servers to plant itself on the server and then transfer itself to those who visited the Web sites on that server through Internet Explorer (IE is buggy too.).

Several of the latest viruses actually use email addressed farmed out of your address book or In Box to send the virus and propagate itself to all those listed with your name in the FROM: field. Later viruses can send out the virus with your friend's names in the from field! Yikes! The need for a 24/7 real-time virus protection software is no longer a choice - it is your responsibility to remain virus free. You will also need to update your virus files regularly so that your computer is protected from the latest releases. Check out: Norton Internet Security for these purposes.

Basics for virus protection:

Get an active program that is always "ON". This will catch any viruses as they are being downloaded so they can be quarantined and cannot infect your system.
Update your virus patterns daily or every time you log on. These updates can be downloaded from the Web site of your virus software manufacturer. Norton has a scheduler to tell your computer to do this automatically - how convenient! You need to ensure your system is protected from the latest viruses which may have just been discovered since last you were online. New viruses are identified daily!
Never click on any attachment or an .exe (example: Happy99.exe, free stuff, click here or ILOVEYOU) file attached within an email without making sure the attachment has been checked for viruses. Even if the mail appears to come from someone you know very well! They may unknowingly be infected and are not aware of the virus on their system which has just spawned an email that has their name on it and is addressed to you. The email may look like it is from your friend just to get you to open it when in fact it is an email generated by a virus.

As a courtesy to your fellow Netizens, try to learn what this is all about - ignorance is not bliss online.

[Ron Curry]

One of the primary reasons for creating this site is how many folks do not seem to care how they will be perceived. I have decided it is that they must not care because there are tons of resources online to give you the basics if you look for them and take the time to read them. They take no care in the choice of words used, or how the content of their email will reflect on them or be perceived by the other side. Also, judging by the reaction of some folks who have been sent to this site, (rather than admit they were participating in a medium they did not yet totally understand, they have hissy-fits and send flames and make threats) some onliners seem to not want to improve themselves or make the effort to learn the necessary skills to be perceived favorably.

To make boastful claims of their self-importance and claim they have the "right" to say and treat others any way they like further solidifies the reason they were probably pointed this way in the first place. So, if you are one of those who do care, one of those who can put your ego on the shelf for a moment and realize we all make mistakes, have more to learn or who up until now have underestimated the importance of these issues - read on. ;-)

Always start your email with Hello, Hi, Dear or whatever works for you.


When you make a phone call you always say Hello to the person who picks up the phone. A little idle chit-chat asking how the other person is, what is new, etc. then entails. I am not suggesting that you have paragraphs of senseless chit-chat before you get to your point, just that you simply show some interest and courtesy to the person on the other side. You may think doing so to be trivial or time-wasting online, however, this is how a civilized society communicates with one another and how relationships are built. Doing so will also make the recipient look forward to seeing your name in their in box. To just blurt out your demands or questions without a greeting comes off as demanding. Feel free to use a greeting that reflects your personality.
You want to think of your email as a serious communication tool, not an excuse to forget about being courteous or friendly. To insinuate you are better than others or that your time is too valuable to spend on the formalities mentioned here is to be perceived as not having consideration for the human being on the other end of the pipeline.


As a courtesy to your fellow Netizens, mind your manners and be nice.

[Ron Curry]

Always spell check your email, proofread for errors, capitalize your sentences and use appropriate punctuation and grammar.


"If a emale is writon with speeling mestakes and gramitckal errors, you mite git the meening, however, the messige is not as affective, or smoothly redable.
Poor writing is equivalent to someone speaking with spinach stuck between their teeth. Listeners and readers concentrate on the spinach; not what is being said."
~ A very astute HTML Writers Guild Member


Family and friends are one thing. If you feel they do not deserve your effort to make sure they have an easy to read email from you - fine - they know you and are probably the most forgiving.
However, with business acquaintances or other online contacts, proper formatting is crucial to building your relationship and credibility. Don't even tell those business associates whom you have become lazy with that "I don't spell check or capitalize my sentences with you because we know each other so well". Not only is that pretty rude but think about it this way. You have just insulted the other party by basically telling them they are not worth the time it would take for you to communicate properly with them. This will also be a strong indication of your level of education and professionalism.


Refrain from using multiple !!!!! or ?????. Multiple exclamation points and question marks risk giving the perception that you are sarcastic and condescending. Do you understand??????
You want your emails to be readable. Type in complete sentences. Create new paragraphs when the subject matter shifts. Take the time to review your email before clicking send. To type random phrases or cryptic thoughts does not lend to clear communication or being perceived as one who made it out of the 6th grade.


As a courtesy to your fellow Netizens, communicate clearly and properly without errors - use the education you received in grade school.

[Ron Curry]

(Note from Ron: This is one of the most irritating things for me. I can't tell you how many "Can't log in, please fix it" emails I get. No "Hello", no "Thank you", and sometimes even the "please" is left out. I also get many "I want to buy a Rotorway, tell me all about it". Sometimes there is a "Thanks" but often it comes across as demanding and with no salutation (like "Thanks, john Smith"). These are very irritating especially after the third or fourth one of the evening).

Always end your emails with Thank you, Sincerely, Take it easy, Best regards - something!


In particular, when you request information or ask something of the one you are emailing, have the common courtesy to thank them in advance (TIA!) and sign off your email appropriately. Worse yet, to click the send button without even typing your name is impersonal and is not conducive to being perceived as a person one would want to continue to build a relationship or do business with. If you don't want to type your name every time, then incorporate it into your signature file that is automatically appended to the end of every email.

Never just forward email without a comment as to why you are forwarding the email to the recipient. That is way assuming, lazy and rude. Do you want the party to comment or review? Is there a specific issue you want them to address? Did you have a particular reason why you forwarded them the email? Always let the recipient know why you are forwarding an email to them. Including what, if anything, you need them to respond to or what action is required by them.

If you are emailing for support or asking a question, or requesting assistance from someone, it would behoove you to say "Thank You". It is very easy to come off as bossy in email - people do not take warmly to those who are bossy.
By sending email that blurts out a question or demands a response without even closing with "appreciate your help" or "thanx in advance" or even "let me know what you think" you can bet the person on the other side will not respond as quickly, work as hard, take you as seriously, or possibly not even care to respond at all. Know this to be a fact. Then, when they do respond and take the time to help you, take a moment and send a reply email thanking them for their assistance. This only takes a minute and will be greatly appreciated by the person on the other side who you can bet is getting more emails that are rude and demanding than courteous!


As a general rule of thumb, if someone takes the time to email you and it is not junk mail or offensive, give them the courtesy of a return response. By not doing so you appear to ignore them. How would you feel if email you sent was simply ignored? A short and sweet acknowledgement of their email commenting on the issues within only takes a moment.

As a courtesy to your fellow Netizens, be polite and type to those as you would have them type unto you.

[Ron Curry]

Use Instant Messaging (IM) properly with consideration for the person on the other side.


Many of the issues that apply to email apply to Instant Messaging and visa-versa. The key is courtesy and clarity in communications.


Start by always asking if the person you are IMing is available and if it is a good time to chat. I get email all the time from folks who get frustrated by others thinking they should be available 24/7 or whenever they are online. If they are busy, ask them when they will be free. You do the same - if you are busy and cannot chat, let the other person know and advise them when you can connect at a later time.


Practice communicating briefly and succinctly. Clarity is key with IM. IM is meant for brief communications - not your manifesto on the days events. If the topic is that long winded or complicated ask when would be a good time to give them a call on the old fashioned telephone to discuss the topic further. With IM there are limitations, as IM only allows 512 characters (79 words) per message.


Use IM for casual topics or informational briefs. Serious topics are not for IM. Can you believe I received a condolence IM when my father passed away? Not appropriate! Certain topics and situations require face-to-face meetings or at the very least a good old fashioned telephone call or card stating your feelings. IM is not the place for serious topics or confrontational issues.


As I mention in previous courtesies, IMing is not an excuse to forget your grade school education. Check your spelling and grammar. This is a communications tool - how can you communicate with clarity if you don't come off as one with a basic education?


If you are not a smooth at multi-tasker, don't continue multiple IM sessions and leave folks hanging while you communicate with others. Not only is it perceived as rude, you are wasting the other person's time and gives them the impression you do not feel their time is valuable.


Learn how to use the features of your IM program. Specifically your "busy" and "away" message features. This will allow those trying to communicate with you to know your status and avoid mis-communications about your availability. For those that don't take your "busy" and "away" messages seriously, use the "ignore" feature. The ignore button is a built-in feature that allows users to block communications from anyone you choose. You can allow only certain people to contact you, or block certain users from contacting you at all. Use this feature sparingly for those who do not respect your time or your requests for contact at a later time.


Never IM under an alias to take a peak at friends' or associates' activities - how rude!


Take into consideration whom you are communicating with to determine the acronyms and emoticons that should be used - if at all. Certainly you wouldn't use the same with a business associate vs. your Mom who may not even know what the acronyms and emoticons mean. Use your better judgment here!


Word of Caution: As with email, IMs can be saved and sent to others. Once you send it - it is gone. If you are upset, sign off until you cool off! Don't type what you wouldn't want to be passed around. I also get emails from IMers all the time who are upset because they sent a private note to a friend they thought they could trust who then broadcasted their IM across the net. Know whom you can trust!
(Note from Ron: We don't have IM here on ROG but this is part of the articles so I will include it.)

A Word to Business Folks: Be Professional even though IM is meant to be casual, keep in mind the quality of your messages reflect on your professionalism. A spelling and grammar check is imperative in any form of business communications regardless of mode used. I've also found that some people are unable to multiple task successfully. Keep this in mind if you are having multiple IM exchanges at a single time, better to limit yourself and communicate the right message - than to confuse messages or tone between IMers. As a courtesy, more so for business communications, if you are unable to respond because of a deadline or a meeting set yourself to "busy", so your colleagues will know that you are unable to respond and not just ignoring them.



As a courtesy to your fellow Netizens, communicate with clarity while using your tools appropriately for the topics at hand.

[Ron Curry]

When replying to emails, always respond promptly and edit out unnecessary information from a post you are responding to.


Responding promptly is the courteous thing to do. Don't let folks wonder if you received the email or are ever going to respond to their communications. Think about how quickly you would return a phone call or voice mail. Email is no different especially considering most folks have expectations of a faster response as email is received so quickly. Outside of any emergencies such as surgery or lack of connectivity, always respond as soon as you can. If you need more time, longer than 48 hours, to gather your thoughts, simply pop off an email stating you are planning on responding in more detail and when.

Don't just hit the reply button and start typing. Edit out unimportant parts of the email you are responding to and respond point by point. Yes, there may be times where keeping in the entire previous email is important, especially if you are adding folks to the conversation via CC. But that is the rare occasion - again, use your common sense.

Editing your email is accomplished by deleting information from the previous mail that is not necessary to continuing the conversation. At the very least edit out email headers and signature files. Lazy is hitting reply and sending a one word answer.... please. Is your time more important than those you are corresponding with? Aren't your associates or friends worth taking the time to make communicating with you easy?

Especially when email conversations on the same topic are ongoing. Why would you possibly want to have copies of the last 3-4 (or more) emails added to the growing list of back and forth? You make the person you are communicating with look for your response amongst all the text. Be sure to hit the enter key twice before typing after a previous email's comments. Doing so will ensure that your comments are directly after the previous email's content you are replying to. The recipient will then know exactly what part of their email your comments were directed at and this will help with clarity in your reply and avoid misunderstandings.

By not editing your email, your lack of understanding in regard to smooth communications, bandwidth and trying to keep the online environment not overloaded with unnecessary noise will be apparent. Always edit/delete what is not necessary for the conversation to continue. This is a skill well worth developing that over time can add tremendous clarity to your communications.


As a courtesy to your fellow Netizens, please down edit your posts keeping only what will contribute to the ongoing conversation.

[Ron Curry]

(Note from Ron: This applys to dumb jokes, chain letters, etc. etc. as well.)


Never, ever, ever, never send anyone an email about anything, (especially your product or service) if the recipient did not specifically email you for that information and you are responding to their request.

Contrary to those who argue this point with me when I ask them to cease spamming myself or my clients, sending UCE (Unsolicited Commercial Email) is not an accepted practice of cold calling or lead generating online.


un·so·lic·it·ed
Not looked for or requested; unsought

The way online works is you should have a great looking Web site that gets found when looked for - that is one of many ways to generate leads online. Emailing strangers is not one of them. Worse yet, to do so and include an attachment not only shows of lack of respect for those you are emailing, but your lack of understanding in regard to the very technology you are using! Your actions will most certainly have a negative effect on your reputation or future business potential.

Common courtesies go a long way online when trying to foster relationships of any kind - including the perception you understand how to correctly use technology. Include an overly large attachment (over 100K) that is not compressed in a format that requires one have the same software as you do (don't count on the fact they do) will cause those on the other side to wonder what else you don't get. Why would someone want to do business with you when you pull that? Files should only be sent in a format that you know the other side has the appropriate software to view - because you asked first! (No, not everyone has MS Publisher or Power Point.)

To assume that what you determine to be informative or useful will be accepted in kind by people you may not know very well, or at all for that matter, is a poor assumption at best. To assume that folks "need" the information you want to provide as though if given a choice, they wouldn't know better and you need to send it anyway is perceived as condescending. These actions can produce dramatic reactions from those sick and tired of being sent info/files/attachments they didn't request and wouldn't request if given the opportunity. This includes not only commercial sales collateral or SPAM but for the "send to all your friends" emails that many who have been online for sometime now have filtered directly to our trash.

Do not just forward "informative" emails that say "forward to everyone you know". In fact if the email says that - you're safe to just hit delete. Dime to a dollar "everyone" will not appreciate your efforts. Doesn't matter how nice or commendable the topic supposedly is. Especially if you just click forward and add a list of emails and do not include a personalized:

"Hi, John, thought you might find this interesting".
Jane


To assume that because so many people are sending junk email that means it is "O.K.", acceptable or the same as cold-calling off-line, you couldn't be further from the truth. Cold-calling online is called SPAM! Spammers get their accounts cancelled by ISPs every day. Credible, ethical business folks simply do not email potential business contacts or customers they do not know about their commercial enterprise, services or products without permission first. Especially if the files are large and software specific.

There is no government law or statue that now authorizes this type of email as many Spammers state at the end of their junk mail. You don't believe everything you read do you? If so, you are the type these Spammers are counting on! Remember, online one can type anything they please - that does not make their claims ethical, true or accurate. There are no remove lists when it comes to Spammers or companies you have not had previous contact with. Never follow instructions from unscrupulous Spammers that state you just need to hit reply to be removed from further mailings. That is an outright lie. Because, if you do, you will have just confirmed you are a LIVE account and your junk mail will increase exponentially as your email address is resold over and over again.

Those who SPAM, (send junk email) are looked at as lazy, obnoxious, unethical, and unable to make a buck the right way - by working hard, by doing their due diligence, by having a credible product or needed service that one can view at their nice looking Web site that gets found when looked for. Run from the business that when you point out their SPAM is not appreciated they flame you back with name-calling and accusations that you don't get it. These are the worst folks of all and they deserve to be reported to: Spam Cop which will weed through the email to determine where it really originated from and report them if possible.

Have you noticed how most Spammers do not have a Web site (or if they do it is the epitome of amateurish) and/or they hide their email identity? Why do you think that is if spamming folks is O.K. as they would like you to believe?

Because they would be reported to their Web site hosting company and most likely their Web site, if they have one, will be shut down.
Their ISP will cancel their account upon receipt of Spam complaints or ensuing mail bombs.
Their Web site or company name would end up on the many black-list sites run by people on a mission to portray Spammers for what they are. Snake oil salesmen!

If you are not sure how to market your product or service online within established guidelines, hire a professional to help you out and keep you out of trouble.

When it comes to SPAM, just remember what your mother use to say: "If everyone jumped off a bridge - would you?".


[ More Info? Article: How to Identify and Handle Spam ]


As a courtesy to your fellow Netizens, don't fill their mail boxes with email only you feel is important with out their permission first.

[Ron Curry]

You are what you write. How you communicate will give a perception as to the kind of person you are. Learn to write with clarity and take folks at their word - not what you "think" they mean.



It should go without saying that sending email with extremely foul, threatening or abusive language is crude. This includes obscenities, verbal harassment, threats of slander or personal comments that would prove offensive based on race, religion, or sexual orientation. But I have to say it because I see it all too often.

No matter how rude someone may be to you, or how offended you may be by another's opinion, don't lower yourself to their level by stooping to obscenities or threats and claims of self importance. Always state your opinion clearly and concisely, without personalizing an issue or resorting to name-calling. Also, be careful to not read anything into an email that isn't there. Take folks at their word. There are many heated discussions online. Hold your head high and communicate as an adult, share your opinions and point of view and realize, that in the grand scheme of things nobody is "better" than anybody else by virtue of their opinions alone.

If you have mistakenly offended or have misinterpreted what another person wrote, please do not hesitate to apologize. That being said, "apologies" which are only offered to produce an opportunity to continue a tirade from a previous email are viewed as self-righteous. Apologies should only be offered with sincerity. Certainly, this does not mean you need to apologize to everyone who has a different or overly critical opinion than you do. We are all individuals and for the most part we all do our best to do the right thing. No one person is any better a human being than another because of the luxury of their level of education or how much money they make. No one person is authorized to be the one who is always right or the only one whose opinion counts. There are many of these types of folks online who will take the time to point out negatives without mentioning any of the positives to folks they do not even know. A tad arrogant and assuming dontcha think?!
Know you have done your best and take constructive criticism in stride. None of us are perfect - nor do I think we would want that responsibility! ;-) If you make a mistake, make note and put the appropriate corrections or modifications in place to prevent the same from happening in the future.


This is a good time to keep in mind that you never put anything in an email that you don't want the world to know about. Emails get reported and forwarded to public Newsgroups and message boards and can be produced at a later date. Always be better than that and "agree to disagree" like most adults do. Don't get bold just because you feel you are safely behind your computer screen and make statements that are untruths. If you would not reply to someone the very same way if you were there in person with them, you probably should not reply at all. By not replying in kind, you hold yourself to a higher standard and leave the other party left to realize the fool they just made of themselves. Do your best to always take the high ground.

Due to the lack of vocal and nonverbal clues with email, we often forget that eye contact, tone of voice and body language which we take for granted when communicating in person, is not available in the written word. Use emoticons and acronyms when necessary to convey your message. If you are joking, include a smiley face :-), if you are sad or upset you can use :-(. If you are unsure of someone's intent or meaning, ask them before making accusations that you may regret. Don't assume what anyone means - take them at their word - same as you should expect to be responsible for what you type. There are lists all over the Internet that will give you a plethora of choices so you can communicate your emotions without being insulting or obnoxious. Understand the folks you email will be hanging on every word and each word's specific meaning. "I didn't mean it that way" does not apply online. Because if you typed it, the recipient will take the words you type at their face value.
Check out Dr. Internut's Internet Resource Clinic for an Internet 101 which includes emoticons and acronyms.

Keep in mind when in newsgroups or message boards that you are in a global arena. There are charters and rules you need to make yourself aware of. To post, without making this effort could induce responses from seasoned Netizens pointing you to sites such as this or believe it or not - much worse. There will be those reading your posts in countries from around the world who may not have the same religious or social views that you have by virtue of their culture. They also may not have a firm understanding of the English language. Do your best to keep this in mind.


As a courtesy to your fellow Netizens, please refrain from abusive or threatening behavior and language.

[Ron Curry]

(note from Ron: This is arguable the most important guideline - read this carefully.)

Don't fall for flamers, jerks or "trolls".


"Trolling" is the practice of sending or posting obviously offensive comments, brutally untruthful statements or words and phrases that we all know to be those that would instigate a fight if stated in the local tavern.
When you see posts or receive email that is offensive or rude, you can bet that someone is trying to "get your goat" and/or is basically a jerk. This is a common practice in Newsgroups. Some Knucklehead with too much time and too little of a life will post to a Newsgroup something very inflammatory. They know Newbies will not recognize they are "trolling" and will not be able to ignore their post. The Newbie then flames back with venom and vigor. The instigating troller then sits back and watches the thread (conversation) continue knowing they did it just to get your reaction.....and it worked!

In these situations you need to not become involved. Pass up any urge to communicate with those that do not have the same moral and ethical behavior as you do. If you just know you will not be able to communicate with clarity based on an exchange of ideas without degrading to name calling and personal insults - click away, leave, find other like minds to spend your time with. It is not your job to show them the light, or try to change their opinion. Sometimes it is best to just walk away when conversations degrade and mature conversations are no longer possible. With Netizens like that, keep in mind their mission is to annoy you no matter what your opinion is. There are those out there where you just can't win. So just move on and find others with like interests to communicate with.

This is not to say you should not respond to any email that may have negative content. Healthy, constructive conversations are one of the neato parts of being online and give us exposure to new ideas or different points of view. The unfortunate part is that some folks don't realize when they are wrong, have been rude or are not playing by the rules. Part of participating online is that there will be times that you will get email from others who may not be happy with something you said, have a difference of opinion or who are simply misinformed.

Calmly and professionally respond to their email point by point. Even though their opinion is just that - their opinion - they may not have all the facts and/or are unwilling to look at themselves constructively because you hit a soft spot. Nothing you can do about that other than to email back with your comments and hold the high ground. Don't lower yourself to their level by resorting to name calling, personal digs that have nothing to do with the issues in dispute, ambiguous accusations or claims of self-importance. If your reply produces even more of the same from the sender, don't reply again. It is clear there is nothing you can say to appease this type of individual who more times than not is overly bold because they have the ability to hide behind their computer's screen. Simply create a filter in your email program to identify their email address on the download and send it directly to your trash.

If unfortunately, you do get harassed or threatened, do not hesitate to send a copy of the offending email to the sender's ISP. This does not include those who simply have a different opinion than yours and state so clearly without using obscenities or resorting to personal name-calling or threats. Report ongoing email of this nature to abuse@theirISP.com (i.e. johndoe@aol.com - abuse@aol.com). Abuse@ is generally the address to send threatening or offensive emails to.


As a courtesy to your fellow Netizens, don't contribute to a troller's bait or a flame war. There are many more productive and enjoyable things to do online.

[Ron Curry]

(note from Ron: This is probably the second most important courtesy - It is rude to take others knowledge and not share your own)


Share information and help other Newbies online.

One of the most disheartening things about technology is that many times people have forgotten the human touch. There are living, breathing human beings at these keyboards. Some more able to communicate clearly than others based on level of education or level of exposure to technology.

Share your online information with those you know to be new to the online arena. Send them to this site, teach them what you have learned - so they will not make the same mistakes as you did. Be open and willing to keep on learning and improving your skills. Don't let your ego or pride stop you from understanding the importance of the issues relayed in this site, by letting your ego get in the way and blur your common sense with anger or feeling as though you have been insulted. If you were sent here, take a deep breath and not blame the person who did you the courtesy - actually you should thank them. Just because you may not like what you are reading here or how I present it, doesn't make it any less important or relevant to how you will be perceived.

Just as in the off-line world there is what is called socially acceptable behavior and common courtesy. Do not for a moment think that because you are behind a monitor that gives you the excuse to be lazy, rude, crude, obnoxious or just a plain jerk. You need to be aware of and practice the information on this site if you want to be perceived favorably. Even more so if you are online for commercial gain. To think you don't have to abide by this information or that you can do what you want will be an error in judgment you will regret.

Learn to communicate your thoughts and ideas clearly using the accepted practices online included in this and other sites. To not do so does us all an injustice. If your writing skills are anemic, stop by Amazon.com and purchase a book to guide you. Don't let this wonderful communication tool turn into one that is used as an excuse to not learn, to not use the skills of the written word we all should have learned in school, to not treat others as you would have them treat you, to spout claims of self-importance that reflect your dented ego and lack of understanding in regard the issues in discussion or to communicating online. If you are ignorant, it is because you have chosen to be ignorant - make the choice to reverse that pattern and learn, learn, learn. ;-)

If you choose to do otherwise, you will be thought of in the most undesirable terms - whether you agree - like it or not. Period.


As a courtesy to your fellow Netizens, act like a human being and make an effort to understand the culture in which you are participating and then share your experience with others.

[Ron Curry]

Rather than keep harping on being civil here on ROG, it occurred to me that perhaps some actually don't realize when they are being inciteful and obnoxious so I thought it might be useful to reprint this useful article from www.onlinenetiquette.com. I hope some of you find it informative. I will post each section in a seperate post for clarity.

Please start at the bottom and read upwards!

Best regards,

Ron